Hello, and welcome back to my blog about films directed by women. This week, I will be focusing on Past Lives by director Celine Song. I finally watched this film on a free day I had earlier this semester. I have been hearing about how amazing Past Lives is since it was released, so I decided to watch it when it was nominated for Best Picture. Every year, I try to watch all the films nominated for this category at the Oscars, and I never end up watching all of them. For this year, I have seen Barbie, Oppenheimer, The Holdovers, and Past Lives. I doubt I will make it through the other six by March 10th. Anyway, Past Lives stuck out to me because I was expecting to be inconsolable and crying by the end of it, but I was okay. This blog post contains spoilers for Past Lives.
I think the film did not have this effect on me because I was glad Nora ended up with her husband, Arthur, and not Hae Sung. Throughout watching the film, I felt that Hae Sung was too stuck in the past to see Nora for who she really is. To briefly summarize, Nora and Hae Sung were close friends, who went on one date before Nora moved from South Korea to the U.S. 12 years later, they reconnect over Facebook and start video calling one another. After reestablishing their relationship as close friends, Nora breaks it off. She has been asking him when he could come visit her in New York, and he has been asking her when she could come to Seoul. They both agree that it would be in at least a year. I admired Nora for her decision to break things off, since she has moved past the era in her life in which she was close with Hae Sung. Nora wants to commit to her life in New York, she does not want to be stuck in the past, thinking of Seoul. The brunt of the film takes place 12 years after this when Nora is married to Arthur. Hae Sung finally visits New York, is introduced to Arthur, and they all go out to a bar.
Again, the reason I like that Nora stayed with Arthur despite reconnecting with Hae Sung is because I feel as if Hae Sung does not understand her. Speaking in Korean so Arthur does not understand, he tells Nora that he has been asking himself what would have happened if he came to New York before she met her husband? What if she never left Seoul? Would they have dated and broken up? Or would they have gotten married and had kids? I felt almost uncomfortable in this moment of the film. I believe that a person should express their feelings if they want to, but Nora is married to Arthur, and they are having this conversation right in front of him. This gave me the impression that Hae Sung does not respect their relationship, even though I know that he does. He tells Nora that he can tell Arthur really loves her. He is also very polite to him, and he thanks him for letting Nora and him talk. But regardless, it still rubbed me the wrong way. Nora seems to not ponder these questions as extensively as Hae Sung. During a previous conversation with her husband, where he questions the same things as Hae Sung, Nora says “This is where I ended up, this is where I’m supposed to be.” Nora does not have the same romantical outlook on life as Hae Sung, which is an area where they differ and which creates a certain distance between them.
During this same scene, Hae Sung tells Nora “the reason I liked you is because you’re you. And who you are is someone who leaves.” While watching, this took me very off guard because of how untrue it is. Nora left Korea because her family wanted to immigrate, it was not her decision. The only other time she left Hae Sung was when she broke off their relationship that took place over video calls. She did this because their relationship was unrealistic, and it could never go anywhere. It would take over a year for them to both visit the other, and that would not work long term. Nora is not a person who leaves. She always planned on staying in the U.S. and she has been loyal to her husband for 12 years and counting. This shows how much Hae Sung misunderstands her through thinking that she is a person who leaves.
Although, Hae Sung does admit that, to Arthur, Nora is someone who stays. He realizes that there’s another version of Nora in his head. In his head, Nora is the 12-year-old girl he was friends with, and she probably always will be. Nora tells him that she left that girl behind with him in Seoul, and that just because she is not sitting in front of him, she does exist. I think this shows that Hae Sung would not be able to feel the same way Nora for who she is in the present. This further exemplifies why I am glad Nora did not leave her husband for Hae Sung. If she did, she would have only been seen as the person she was, not the person she is. With Arthur, she is seen as the person she is.
When Hae Sung leaves New York for Seoul, Nora cries to Arthur. To me, I saw it as her crying over the little girl she left behind, and who that little girl would’ve grown up to be if she stayed in Korea. Her and Hae Sung did agree that, in a past life, they were something to each other. Nora does love Hae Sung in a way, and she is mourning that she is letting go of this past life in her present life. But then again, in her present life, Nora immigrated and met Arthur. She believes she ended up with that life because she is supposed to have it. She is supposed to be with Arthur, which is why she walks through the door with him, and stays. He is the one who sees her for who she is in this life, after all.
I know I was a little harsh on Hae Sung in this post, but I think he is a great character. I feel like many people get stuck in the past, and have regrets about what could’ve been. He is an exemplary representation of this, and I do understand his perspective. To conclude, I did not find the movie as heart wrenching as others because I think Arthur and Nora belong together in their present life. I think that Hae Sung and Nora could have been together in a past life, or they will be in a future one, and that comforts me, so I wasn’t heartbroken that they weren’t in the present.
– Kate Goranson, Assistant Blog Editor.
Kate Goranson – Asst. Prose Editor, Asst. Blog Editor & Blogger: Kate is a Sophomore majoring in English with a Literature/Language Concentration. She works at the Writing Center during the week and a banquet hall on the weekends. She has been playing violin since 5th grade and has also picked up guitar and singing. During her free time she likes to go to the movies with her friends, nap with her cat and thrift shop. Some of her favorite authors include Sally Rooney and Madeline Miller.