Oh, boy. After the travesty that was the sixth season of “Tales from the Crypt,” you could only hope that things wouldn’t get worse. Unfortunately, the seventh and final season of the beloved HBO anthology show hits an entirely new low you never could have imagined.
In a last-ditch effort to save money on production and perhaps spice things up, the final season of “Tales from the Crypt” jumped production across the pond. The final season was made in England with English actors, directors, and what have you. On paper this sounds like an interesting change of pace, and a decision that could result in some fine television. However, believe me when I say that it was hard for me to even pick five “good” episodes out of the thirteen-episode season to focus on here.
I’ve noticed that most of the seasons of “Tales from the Crypt” start off with an episode that’s better than the others, and that’s the case here. “Fatal Caper” focuses on an old man named Mycroft who doesn’t have much time left to live. Mycroft’s will states that if his two remaining sons can’t finish the task of finding their other brother, who left home years before never to be heard from again, then Mycroft’s money will just be given to charity. This leads to the brothers coming up with their own plans for getting the money, and these plans aren’t the least bit legal. This episode was directed by Bob Hoskins and is a tight, suspenseful little story that features some fine character work. The twist ending is incredibly ridiculous too, but also pretty fantastic, making this one of the best episodes of the season.
After a slow second episode, the third episode of season seven, “A Slight Case of Murder,” picks things up a bit with its immense charm. Sharon is a mystery novelist who has been in a bit of a slump as of late. With her nosy neighbor Mrs. Trask always stopping by unannounced, and a jealous husband ready to kill her for a suspected affair she may or may not be having, Sharon just never has the time to get back to writing her bestselling novels. But her life may be the perfect example of what to write next. A more understated episode than most, this one is definitely worth a watch. It’s suspenseful, has a fun ending, and features some really charming acting from Elizabeth Spriggs as Mrs. Trask. I’m ready for a Mrs. Trask spin-off series.
The fourth episode of the season is another dud, but the fifth one, “Horror in the Night,” is a fantastic and trippy episode that feels unlike any other. After a successful robbery, jewel thief Nick betrays his partner by shooting him and keeping all the jewels for himself, but not before his partner shoots him back. Nick isn’t too badly injured from the gunshot, so he decides to hide out in a little hotel he comes across. It’s here that Nick begins to lose it and starts hallucinating due to loss of blood. It seems that his ex-partner may be catching up to him, too. The hallucination scenes in this episode are really what make it stand out. It’s not a great episode, but it does have some cool visuals, is a bit creepy, and features a good ending.
It’s another five bad episodes before we get another good one, but the eleventh does happen to be the best one of the season. Starring Eddie Izzard, “Confession” focuses on detective Jack Lynch as he tries to get a confession out of the man he thinks has just slain three women, Evans (Izzard). Evans is a Hollywood screenwriter whose movies all happen to be about grisly murders, and this makes Lynch suspect him instantly. Lynch slams Evans hard with accusations and questions, but it seems that Lynch will have to take drastic measures to get anything out of Evans. This episode is such a relief to see in a season filled with so many crappy episodes. This one easily stands out above the rest as the best episode of the season, with great acting, cinematography, and a truly suspenseful story. Though I like the previous three episodes I’ve mentioned here, I wouldn’t consider any of them to be great. “Confession” is the only episode of this season that I would rank among the best of the series. The performances by Eddie Izzard and Claran Hinds (Lynch) are fantastic, and they’re what really make this episode work so well. The only problem I have with “Confession” is that it is somewhat predictable. But I can overlook that simply because of everything else that this episode offers.
Skipping the forgettable twelfth episode, the thirteenth and final episode of the season is easily the most memorable. “The Third Pig” is a fully animated episode, and it is the only animated episode of the entire series. Basically just a goofy, deranged spin on the classic tale of the “Three Little Pigs,” “The Third Pig” is a fun romp that definitely serves up some laughs. The plot is simple: after his brothers Smokey and Drinky are murdered by the Wolf, third pig brother Dudley creates a zombie pig to exact revenge on the Wolf. There’s a fun twist at the end, but for the most part, this is the most straightforward episode of “Tales from the Crypt” that you can find, though I’m not saying that as a diss to the episode. The animation style reminds me of classic Nickelodeon shows like “Ren & Stimpy” or “Rocko’s Modern Life,” but the content of this episode is far more graphic than either of those shows could ever have dreamed to be. “The Third Pig” is simple and isn’t particularly great when compared to other animated comedies of the time, but it’s a significant episode of “Tales from the Crypt” due to its distinctiveness. I applaud the showrunners for including an episode like this.
So there you have it, my final post reflecting on “Tales from the Crypt.” It’s too bad that the series ended so terribly, with the final season getting a 2 out of 5 from me. Still, as a whole, the series is quite remarkable and has plenty of amazing episodes that hit on multiple fronts including comedy, horror, and suspense. I seriously cannot recommend this show enough.
— Michael Lane, Film Blogger
